The Winter Olympics - A Rant

If you haven’t been watching the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver Canada these past couple I hope you’re in a coma. I’ve heard all the excuses for not watching; the sports are boring, I don’t know any of the athletes, NBC’s coverage sucks, I don’t want to miss American Idol, the winter games discriminate against countries that do not get snow. Really? I mean really? Lets go over this:

The sports are boring:

This is perhaps the worst excuse. These sports are not boring. Sure you might not know all of the rules or the technical aspects of the biathlon, luge, curling, speed skating etc. but that doesn't make then unexciting to watch. These athletes train for years to get to the Olympics. Some of them train while taking care of their families and hold full time and part time jobs. They are dedicated to their craft unlike many others. For them the Olympics is their only spotlight. You get one chance; one moment to shine before its all over. Think about training for 3 years for one event and losing a gold medal by 2 hundredths of a second or by 3 inches. 2 HUNDREDTHS OF A SECOND; that's faster than you can sneeze. The amount of pressure these athletes are under is massive. They are competing not only for themselves and their family, but for their entire country. They have only once chance to either be a national hero or the national goat. A perfect run earns gold. If you're wide in a corner by an inch or don't get into the right position in time you're out. which brings me to my next point.


I don't know any of the athletes:

You have a computer right? You have a smartphone? there are hundreds of webpages and several apps that outline winter olympic athletes. Stop gossiping with your friend back and forth on Twitter for 2 seconds and look them up. Done, NEXT.


NBC's Coverage Sucks:

Yes the lack of live coverage is a bit confusing. Especially when the big east coast market is only 3 hours ahead of the games themselves. BUT did you stop watching the summer games from China or Australia because the events weren't live?? I didn't think so.


American Idol:

Terrible if you use this as an excuse please do the rest of us a favor and shoot yourself. No, NO that would be too quick and easy. Shove bamboo under your fingernails and then wash your body with acid. That'll do, douche.


The games discriminate against countries that don't get snow:

The whole world doesn't get snow all the time. Boo Hoo. Last time I checked the citizens of Jamaica weren't exactly begging for the white stuff. In fact they make a pretty good living appealing to all of us as a great winter destination spot BECAUSE ITS WARM AND THERE ISN'T ANY SNOW THERE. So I'm not crying for these countries. This is 2010. If Jamaica had a bobsled team I think its all fair.


Really there is not excuse for not watching Olympic coverage. Even if you just root for the USA in all events, that's fine. That's being patriotic. Because if you don't watch, the terrorists win.


Carl Spackler