Showdown at Bushwood: The Karate Kid vs. Teen Wolf

No this is not a battle between Daniel Larusso and Scott Howard. Rather it is the first entry in the ongoing Showdown at Bushwood series where we will take two things, how closely related they will be is yet to be determined, and throw them into a steel cage to see who prevails as the winner. Tonight is the first battle between two things that really don't matter that much but are still important.

Widely considered two of the most influential films of all time, The Karate Kid and Teen Wolf will go down in the anals of history alongside The Flint Michigan Megabowl. I dare you to find me someone who has never tried to crane kick their friend or younger sibling in the face, or hasn't daydreamed of car surfing to The Beach Boys.

I'm not going to bore you with the details of these two slices of cinematic pie and assume that you are familiar with each. Quick note, the sequels of each film will have no bearing on this competition because if it did than we would have a stalemate due the horrendous nature of Teen Wolf Too and The Next Karate Kid . If you have never seen either, don't, and send the money you would spend on acquiring them to us at Bushwood and we will promptly come to your house and pummel you in the crotch for 90 minutes to get the same experience as watching them.

So I assume you're asking, then what is the criteria we are basing this epic clash of juggernauts on? Here is your answer: how much I wanted to be like the main character, soundtrack, mentor, villain, and the montage/ending.

How much I wanted to be like the main character: Yes I had one of these and wore it everywhere, socially acceptable or not. if you don't know what that is, stop reading now and punch yourself in the face. Daniel carried with him a greater relatability factor, it's true. You could feel his pain of hating the new school and city coming through the screen, and believed that after the beating he received at the Halloween costume party it probably was safer for him to just ride the stupid bus. Although as he changes, dare I say grows, throughout the movie you were along for the ride and felt like saying "I could learn how to do those things too, I want a yellow convertible, I want to take regular day to day maintenance work motions and turn them into deadly ninja moves and win The All Valley Karate Championship."

Conversely, Scott was more somebody you were rooting for but didn't really want to be like (a minimal amount of consideration goes to when he is wolfed out because, breaking news, everybody would want to be a werewolf). No knock against him, but a lot of Scott's life outside of Beaver basketball games was kind of a snooze. Maybe he was more somebody I would want to hang out with, rather than be, especially because he had the hook up. HOWEVER, one must consider that if you are either one of these guys, you also inherit their social circles. Therefore that puts Ali with an I up against this.

As difficult as this is, Chubby is the tiebreaker. Plus you'd get to turn into a werewolf.

WINNER: Teen Wolf

Mentor: On the surface, this one looks like a slam dunk for Noriyuki 'Pat' Morita's portrayal of what every eight year old's vision of a karate sensei looks like. Unfortunately the majority of the time they end up being this guy. However, a great genius by the name of Bobby Finstock litters Teen Wolf with nuggets of wisdom from start to finish. Here is a collection of Coach Finstock's greatest hits. An unbelievably under-recognized and under appreciated character, Finstock has fallen through the cracks and it's time he obtains the notoriety he deserves. All of that being said, while hilarious and inspiring, I don't think he is capable of single handily dismantling an entire group of high schoolers dressed as skeletons. AND I am pretty sure he is unable to heal torn ACLs with his BARE HANDS.

WINNER: The Karate Kid

Soundtrack: Let me guess, you've never heard of Bunny and The Wolf Sisters? Well I guarantee you've cut a rug to them wolf style and didn't even know it. Putting that up against Asian flutes? Gee, that was hard.

WINNER: Teen Wolf

Villain: Johnny Lawrence and Mick McAllister. One is a hot headed and arrogant karate master, the other is a hot headed and arrogant guaranteed double double every game out. While Mick was certainly a d-bag, he never really flushed out that "bully" role. He more seemed like the kind of kid that was really talented and athletic but spent most of his time getting blitz-krieged in his mom's basement. Johnny on the other hand is plain and simple, the ultimate adversary. He's got the swagger, the flunkies ("Must be take a worm for a walk week." Are you kidding me with how awesome that is?!?!), and the skillz. The clincher for Mr. Lawrence in this category is that you absolutely want to be him even though you know he is evil incarnate.

WINNER: Karate Kid

Music montage/Ending: I'm not even going to try and do them justice with words, just watch.

The Karate Kid


Teen Wolf


The fact that I've put myself in a position to be forced to choose between these two has now made me throw up in my mouth. At this point I regret starting this journey because I feel like I'm choosing which one of my BFFs are going to have their faces cut off in a contraption from Saw. Yet I must.

In the tightest contest since the Perkins High School Latin Club President race of '99, Teen Wolf brings it home based on the game winning efforts of the Beavers. While I am proud of Daniel for conquering his fears and foes to become The All Valley Karate Champion, Scott Howard lead his squad to victory as a team. Proving that while there is a karate kid in all of us, it takes a wolf to become a man to win a championship.

SHOWDOWN WINNER: Teen Wolf

Judge Smails